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Top 10 Tips for Crossing the Road in Vietnam

By on Jan 20, 2010 in Vietnam | 0 comments

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Top 10 Tips for Crossing the Road in Vietnam

Hanoi Roads, Vietnam

After 3 weeks of traveling through Vietnam and with far too many near misses on the roads,  I have gathered the following list of tips to help you get across Vietnam’s notorious roads:

  1. Never look a driver in the eyes as your cross the road, it initiates an act of sudden death chicken – in this situation the pedestrian generally looses out.
  2. Don’t run across the road, it shows fear and you’re more likely to get mowed down.
  3. Feel free to use fellow tourists as human shields as they cross the road, all’s fair in love and Vietnam road war!
  4. Under no circumstances, never, never ever,  even if your life depends on it… turn back! It’s a sign of weakness.
  5. Always have a facial expression similar to Stallone’s – “If you mow me down bastard, I will peel myself of the ground an use your eyeballs to make my Pho tonight!”
  6. When crossing, sing to yourself “it’s a small world after all”, hey it might not prevent an accident but the driver may take pity on the obviously crazed person crossing the street.
  7. Never put your hand up at cars to tell them to slow or stop, it only acts like a red flag enticing a raging bull.
  8. Smile, because if your going to get run over, at least make the driver feel like your enjoying the situation.
  9. Standing in the middle of the road and trying to take a photo is never a good idea.
  10. Finally, if worse comes to worse and you’re stuck in the middle of the road, calmly sit down, put your head between your legs and kiss your arse goodbye.

Have fun crossing the roads in Vietnam!